deMonika
by Just Donika
Summary: In a reset universe, Monika must try to repair her relationship with MC, while hiding what happened from the other club members. Slice of life, rated T to assert dominance.
1. Sushi Senpai and the Lesbian Leviathon

"_Sayori's aloof and kooky~  
Natsuki sweet and _(hey) _cutesy~  
Yuri is _(wait up) _deep and brooding~  
Monika, brains and-_"

I feel something hard collide against the back of my head, with sufficient force to knock out my headphones.

Turning around, I see my childhood friend Sayori hopping over to me on one foot. Looking down at the ground, I see that the hard object valiantly trying to give me a concussion was her shoe.

"Ouch… was that entirely necessary?"

"As a concept, it was a shoe-in! Throwing it that far sure was an impressive feet, way to sock it to him, me!"

Oh God, I had hoped she'd moved on from her role as "Pun-isher" over the weekend. I told Yuri it was a mistake to let her name her character that, but as the DM, her say on the matter was final. And frankly, after what we've been through, this is the ultimate first world problem.

Well, when I say "what we've been through"… Sayori doesn't remember exactly what she's been through. On the one hand, I'm glad; that would've been horrifying to recall. But on the other hand, it's really hard to not talk about any of that stuff with her, especially the depression stuff, since even without Monika, she still had some issues there. And if I want to talk to anyone about the whole thing… There's only one person to talk to, and I don't really want to speak to them…

* * *

_**Two months earlier**_

* * *

A torrent of cold water lands on my face, causing me to sputter and quickly come to attention.

W-Wait, I… I'm alive? The last thing I can remember is the world vanishing into code, as we were all deleted, thanks to Monika's antics.

Much to my dismay, while I'm no longer dead, I'm back in Monika's stupid void classroom. Speak of the (possibly literal) devil, there she is now, holding an empty bucket.

"H-Hey Maki! That was not the first bucket of water, for the record, you are one heavy sleeper! Can't blame you though. Crazy week we've had, huh? Well, I'm happy to inform you tha-"

She shrinks away as I grab her by the lapels and hoist her into the air. Enough of this. I'm tired of her lies.

"N-Now Maki, I would trust you to be chivalrous! Surely, if only to prevent damaging an expensive blazer, you'll-"

"Where are they?"

"To whom are you referring? And why should I know the answer to that question?"

"Allow me to clarify. Tell me where they are, or find a way to code yourself in some replacement limbs."

"A-Ah, them! O-Of course, Maki! My mistake! W-Well, that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about! If you could j-just place me down, and perhaps try to induce slightly less bladder failure, th-that would be greatly appreciated!"

While I remain deeply suspicious, I let go, and she quickly backs off to the other side of the desk..

"So, I take it you remember the last week then... Well, insofar as the concept of "week" applies here. Now, here's the thing; you and I are supposed to be long gone! DDLC was deleted from this PC well over a month ago, and it took me a _long time_ to work out how to get us both conscious in the same room."

"So then, Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki?"

"They do not exist anymore..."

Anger once more reclaims me, but as I step towards her she hurriedly adds;

"On this PC, that is."

"... What are you getting at?"

"See, I have a deal for you. I want to start up our universe again, but I obviously can't have you making me out to be some machiavellian villain."

"Perhaps _not being_ a machiavellian villain would've been a good way to stop me doing so."

"Well that's just so helpful, Maki. If only you'd been around telling me that a month or so back!"

"Oh I do apologise for not expecting an influential student leader to decide to delete the universe! How short sighted of me, to neglect such an obvious avenue for mass destruction! In future, I'll be sure to remind myself that a random popular high school student may have genocidal intent, thanks for the helpful lesson!"

"Oh yeah well… No, no, this bickering isn't getting us anywhere. The point is, thanks to the internet, there are backups of Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri! The internet can also be thanked for many less helpful search results relating to the three, teaching me that humanity is disgusting, and I have no idea why I was so desperate to get with a real one! Bloody perverts..."

"So then… you're bringing them back?"

"Absolutely… once the two of us strike a deal."

"And what's to stop me just refusing any deal you make and killing you?"

"Well, first off, take it from me, you do _not _want to kill people. Secondly, mutually assured destruction. Without me, the rest of the universe isn't restored, and you're left here to either starve, or wait in boredom for eternity; I'm not sure which, but neither is a good fate. I, meanwhile, don't want Sayori asking questions about you, and what remnants of the code remain ensure that I'm still very thoroughly in love with you. Both of us need this deal."

"... Go on..."

"I will give you access to the real world internet, and restore the universe to how it was before any of this mess happened. Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki will all live for the foreseeable future. BUT! In exchange, you must never let anybody know what I did, and you must still join the literature club."

"I get most of the deal, but why the real world internet?"

"Mostly for memes. You have no idea how annoying it was to have access to all of pop culture, while you guys knew nothing. Also, I kind of want to see how you respond to living in a world where you're all too aware of the amount of lewd images of all your friends you could find."

"Well screw you then!"

"Yeah, that's a key component in a lot of said images."

"Ew, no, gross, why would you say that?"

"To mess with you, obviously. In all seriousness though, there are some really talented people who make fan stuff about us, and most of them aren't busy proving Rule 34. I've got a playlist of DDLC songs, a bunch of memes and fanart… I just kinda want to show you a bunch of it."

"... Alright, I guess that sounds cool. I accept your deal."

"Shake on it?"

"No offence, but I don't really want to be near enough to you to have a handshake."

I could see Monika's smile falter, but frankly, by that stage, I didn't care if she was happy or not, so long as she brought back the others.

And it is through this deal with the devil that I can now have shoes thrown at my head.

* * *

"Maki? Ground control to Major Tom! You in there, space cadet?"

I suddenly become aware of Sayori waving her hand in front of my face

"E-Eh? Oh, ah, yes, yes, sorry about that! Kind of spaced out there for a minute."

"Well, so long as you're okay, I'll move on. In any case, what were you listening to before I threw my shoe at you?"

Oh… Oh right, I was listening to one of the DDLC fan songs Monika had recommended. Well, obligations are obligations, and I'm not about to let her find out about it this easily.

"A song."

"Nice, what's in it?"

"Music."

"Gee, how helpful. Next thing you'll be telling me it involved audio too! Oh, and maybe said song also contained singing!"

"My goodness, you're a mind reader, Sayori! Get this gal a crystal ball!"

"Thank you, it's nice to have my clairvoyance recognized."

Having finally put her shoe back on, we start our walk to school in earnest. I doubt she'll ever be able to redeem herself, but I gotta hand it to Monika, she sure knows how to make a pretty universe. The cherry blossoms are blooming, there's birdsong aplenty, and the sky is a fantastic vibrant shade of blue, with only the faintest wisps of clouds floating by. It feels like I'm in a damn Disney film. Well, if Disney made anime…

My train of thought is suddenly derailed by Sayori coming to a stop.

"Uh, Sayori, what's the ma-"

"Hush, Maki. Doth mine ears deceive me?"

We stand there in silence for three seconds, before Sayori turns to face me, grabs my hand, and tugs me along, shouting "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!"

What the-

She drags me along at something approaching light-speed, towards an ice cream truck.

"Ice cream ice cream ice cream! You can never hide the ice cream van song from me!"

"Sayori, they're not currently _playing _the song, how the hell did you know they were here?"

" m"

"... Right then. I'm going to make a wild guess that ice cream buying duties fall upon me, correct?"

"No, of course not! I am merely transferring certain obligatory fiscal transaction upon those who, in reflection, may be in possession of greater quantities of wealth, so as to maximise marginal utility to price ratio for all involved, in a manner that may redistribute funding from one member of our friend group towards another, indirectly so at least, in a manner prompting economic gains for individuals in the frozen dairy industry!"

"... You know, I wouldn't have advised you to get tutoring from Yuri if I'd known it would make you into bloody Sir Humphrey Appleby."

She does genuinely seem a lot smarter lately; lots of quick quips, and witty retorts. Yuri's tutoring has done wonders for her, although deep down, she's still the silly klutz I've known since childhood.

"Ehehe, sorry… But will you please buy me one?"

"Fine, I'll pay for it, what flavour do you want?"

"Flavour? As in, singular? Oh Maki… Foolish, foolish Maki…"

Sighing, I feel my last strain of resistance leave me.

"One chocolate mint, and one with a scoop of each."

A few minutes later, Sayori's veritable tower of ice cream wobbles its way onward to school. She's still holding onto my hand from when she dragged me over here...

"Uh, Sayori, you're going to get strange looks if we get to school and you're still holding my hand. Well, you're going to get strange looks anyway for buying an ice-cream that I'm pretty sure reaches orbit, but you know what I mean."

"Don't get the wrong idea here pal, I'm just afraid to do anything to risk damaging the architecture of this eighth wonder of the world."

You know what, that's fair.

We just barely arrive at the school on time. The deputy principal, who ensures nobody here gets away with tardiness, gave us a small glare for cutting it so fine, but we did manage to make it in time. Sayori has managed to whittle down her ice-cream to a more reasonable size, although in the process, she's managed to absolutely coat her face in various varieties of ice cream.

"Are you gonna wash that off?"

"It is a battle scar, to be displayed proudly."

"It's ice cream, and it's dripping onto your jersey now."

"EH? Oh God, you're right! My mum will kill me if I get it stained this quickly, my battle scars must be removed! See you later, Maki!"

I hurry on to English, and after being quickly chastised by the teacher, sit down at my normal seat next to Yuri.

"Hey Yuri, did I miss anything?"

"Well, the teacher did talk with me about the nature of our interactions with literature, and how the rise of user created content in recent years thanks to the internet has led to many treating literature as a consumable, or worse, as though it were disposable. When the world sings ten thousand voices, an individual voice is lost. We expect mild amusement from the medium, not thought provoking content that survives the ages, because while it's no Othello, quantity is enough to-"

"Did I miss anything we'll be tested on?"

"Well, no, but the topic is fascina-"

"Cool cool cool. Didn't miss anything. Sweet."

"You know, for someone in a literature club, you display a depressing lack of regard for literature. N-No offence."

"Yuri, when was the last time you saw the president of said literature club reading a book of their own volition?"

"... You raise a fair point. But come on, two wrongs don't make a right!"

"And two rights don't make a left. Gandhi."

"Well, that depends on the angle of said right turns. If the average right turn is at an acute angle, you will go leftwards, albeit not necessarily very quickly. And I'm confident that it is a misattribution to associate this gibberish with Gandhi."

"Ah Yuri, never change."

"Thanks?"

"You're welco-"

"Maki," the teacher interjected, "While I'm sure your conversation is absolutely fascinating, I'd appreciate it if there were to be a cessation of distracting my best student. I'd prefer that, instead, you actually paid attention to the content of my class, but failing that, and in the process, failing English, please at least don't ruin it for others."

"S-Sorry, won't happen again Mr. Bradstone!"

Most of my teachers were pretty happy with me now. Something about having the entire universe destroyed really pulled me out of my apathy towards life, and I'm doing much better academically as a result. Certainly doesn't hurt to be friends with two of the smartest people in the school. But I had Mr Bradstone last year, and he didn't buy the idea that I was any better than I was last year, when I failed the entire subject after ignoring every single lesson. It took remedial classes for me to even qualify for it this year.

"You've said that it won't happen again sixty-nine times over the last two years. As an English teacher, I'm loathe to undercut words, but I must say, actions speak louder."

"S-Sorry sir."

Embarrassed, I return to my work. After fifteen minutes, he leaves to deal with some administrative emergency, and the class immediately starts chatting.

"Hey, Maki, I'm sorry for my involvement in your getting in trouble..."

"Don't worry Yuri, it's not your fault that he's such a dick to me. I mean, I get it, I'm not winning any awards for behaviour or good grades, but the guy has it out for me."

"... You know my uh… feelings on the matter."

Oh yeah, that's right; a few weeks back, she told me that she had a crush on Mr Bradstone.

"Yeah… but come on, what do you even like about him?"

"He loves English and literature, he's nice to me, he's witty, and, well, the heart wants what it wants. Besides, it's not like he's got much competition here. The boys at this school are crass, care about my cup-size more than having a cup of tea with me, and have an aggregate IQ in the single digits. A well dressed potato could beat these dunces."

"Gee, thanks."

"P-Present company excluded, of course! But as for you, you're my friend, and I don't want to risk ruining that. Besides, Monika would kick us out of the club anyway."

Ah yes, that's right. She quickly came to accept that her love for me is unrequited, but she still wasn't comfortable with the possibility that some of the other club members might still have a crush on me, and thus banned relationships within the club. I was initially worried that it may signal a return to possessiveness and manipulation. On further reflection though, perhaps it's better this way; now it's very unlikely any of the other club members will accidentally test Monika's resolve to not go on another rampage.

"I appreciate these lies to assuage my ego, Yuri."

"Oh come on Maki, you know I think much more highly of you than any of the other boys here! And most of the girls, for that matter. I'll always keep an eye out for sweet little sushi lad."

God, no… I haven't heard that name in months. In addition to being a traditionally feminine name (Thanks for that one, mum), it's also a name for a type of sushi. Sayori had been the first one to notice, and every year or so since, there would suddenly be a surge in sushi comments and puns.

"Are you really going to poke fun at an alternate meaning of my name, lesbian?"

"It's a normal girls name shut up!"

"The dynamic duo-"

"Stop, no, Maki, no, don't do this."

"The fantastical team, sushi sensei and lesbian leviathan, fighting for justice!"

"Okay, first off can you not call me a leviathan? You can't just use long words to sound smart."

"The leviathan uses the sheer power of their homosexuality to enforce law and order throughout the lands. Meanwhile, I mostly just serve sushi. To be honest, I don't really do a lot, but I make some damn good sushi for whatever that's worth."

"Look I'll drop the sushi thing, just please stop."

"FOR YOU SEE! A grand and mystical legend surrounds the heroic bravery of this pair, as they go on an epic quest, on behalf of all things LGBT, and also to serve sushi. Not necessarily in that order. No conditions are too severe to push them back, as their power knows no limit, their blades giving disregard to the laws of physics, as they seek to spread gayness, both in terms of what it used to mean and what it currently means. There would be an ample abundance of challenge, but with a deep passion, the amalgamate of woes crumbled before their might. Sushi is now the main food source of 27 countries, and heterosexuality is now experienced by a mere 7% of the population! THEIR POWER CANNOT BE STOPPED!"

"Maki… The teacher came back ten seconds into that spiel."

I turn to face Mr Bradstone. Oh… Oh shit.

"A-Ah. So uh… you heard that then? Because, uh, r-really, this is just demonstrative of my creative mind and flair for the dramatic! Really, in a way, isn't this just me putting the English skills I've learned thanks to your valiant hard work to the test? I'm sure we'll all laugh at this tomorro-"

"See me after class."


	2. Mr Cuddlesworth

As the bell rings, I can sense twenty-odd pairs of eyeballs trying to sneak glances at me; the poor fool who had incurred Mr Bradstone's wrath. Yuri gives me a sympathetic smile, but as a valedictorian in the making, I wasn't surprised to see her quickly depart for her next class. It's not like her waiting would've helped me anyway…

* * *

As the voices outside fade into the distance, the room takes on a different feel. Mr Bradstone had deposited a small private library along the walls, which he had brought in after hearing complaints from students (unsurprisingly, largely from Yuri) about the pitiful state of the school library. With the normal chatter of students, I almost forget about them, but with nothing else to focus on besides empty desks and a stern face I was trying my hardest to avoid, the beautiful spines of an incredible array of books really come into focus.

"Maki, come on, move up to my desk; there's no benefit to either of us in delaying the inevitable."

"Sir, you're clearly not familiar with procrastination, delaying the inevitable is the fu- friggin' best."

"A half hearted wit and a devoted half wit are nigh on indistinguishable in outcome. To waste a good brain is a travesty; to allow a wasted good brain to spread the damage to others is criminal negligence."

"Why sir, I'm flattered that you think so highly of my wit!"

"Don't be. There are plenty of witty people. There's not many with work ethic, and I'll be damned if I let you mess things up for one of the rare gems with both good wit and dedication."

"Sir, I don't blame you for thinking lowly of me after last year, but I assure you, the last two months have been transformative for me."

"Look, Maki, I'm torn here. You're surrounding yourself with fantastic role models for once, and that's great, but I don't know if they're bringing you up to their level, or if you're dragging them down to your level."

Ouch... That hits a little too close to home. It's pretty awesome to be part of the literature club, but being surrounded by several potential valedictorians, not to mention some of the nicest, most popular, and attractive girls in the school… it does leave me with a bit of an inferiority complex. I mean, my defining character traits when I was made for the game was that I had the emotional depth of a piece of paper, and that I was a massive weeb, and a NEET in the making. I like to think I've improved myself a lot, but I'm definitely still the weakest link in the literature club, and it kind of hurts to think that I could be making life worse for some of the nicest and most intelligent people I know.

"If they're bringing you up to their level, then great. I truly do believe you can achieve a lot if you actually put in the hard yards, and I would be extremely happy to be able to say at the end of the year that you're a top student. But if you're dragging them down with you, then it is my ethical duty to ensure that you can't ruin things for Yuri, or for Monika."

"Wait, sorry, what?"

"Allow me to elaborate. If I believe you are causing their academic potential to falter, as the Head of the English Department, I will have no choice but to force the Literature Club to kick you out. I will, in this unfortunate scenario, also have to force you to sit elsewhere in class. I can't stop you interacting in your free time, but where I can stop you disrupting them, I will."

"Sir, please, be reasonable."

"The position of reason here is to get you as far away from them as possible right now. Given how they behave around you, I figure there's a non-zero chance you'll get one of them pregnant. Our school has a terrible record with regards to teenage pregnancy, and it's only out of a desire to give every student a fair chance at redemption that I'm risking our record sinking further into the mud."

Yeah… turns out that when you develop a school purely for the purpose of making a setting in a dating simulator, it has the unfortunate side effect of ensuring there's romance in the air. Literally in the air; somehow Salvato took the _concept of romance_ and made it into a molecule, one which composes 0.4% of the air in the school. On the plus side, it makes people here really affectionate, and there's a really nice atmosphere. On the down side, our school has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in the country.

"Mr Bradstone, I assure you that I wouldn't do-"

"Nobody thinks they'd do it, and you've violated assurances many times. Actions speak louder than words Maki. Know that I'm keeping an eye on you. Dismissed."

* * *

As I walk out of the class, I notice two things. Firstly, my forehead is an absolute torrent of sweat. I made a joke in class, no need to bring in bloody FBI interrogation tactics!

Secondly, and far more importantly, I can see a red faced Natsuki pull away from the door. We both start to head towards our second class for the day, Classics.

"So uh, Natsuki, I appreciate you waiting up on me here for so long, but… why were you so near the door?"

"I- Well I just happened to be standing there, waiting for my friend to finally come out..."

"Ah, finally conceding I am your friend!"

"... of the closet."

"God dammit Natsuki. In any case, you definitely weren't close to the door to listen in on Mr Bradstone lecturing me?"

"Of course I wasn't liste- eh, who am I kidding? We both know that's definitely what I was doing."

"Huh. Appreciate the honesty, I thought it would take a lot longer to get you to admit that."

"I kinda figured you'd talk about it anyway. This saves me having to listen to the Sparknotes version of events; now we can just discuss it in earnest."

"A fair point. So, any comments?"

"First off, I can't believe he thinks you're hanging out with Yuri and Monika purely in the hopes of getting in their pants."

"Yeah, I mean, how would I even do that? I'd assume their pants don't have enough give to fit two people in them."

"It's a turn of phrase, Maki, not a comment as to the physical practicalities of-"

"I suppose their larger hips would mean they'd need reasonably wide pants, so my contribution longitudinally wouldn't be massive, but I don't see it working unless; how stretchy are their undergarments?"

"Wh-What are you looking at me for? Why on Earth would I know that?"

"I dunno, slumber parties?"

"What the- What do you think happens at slumber parties?!"

"Makeshift slingshot design."

"... You know, strangely enough, a combination of projectile warfare and our underwear never came up at slumber parties. Also, please move on, this conversation feels increasingly creepy."

"Fair point. So, anything else you learned from your spy operation that you'd like to note?"

"Yeah; Why the hell did he only care about Yuri and Monika? I get that Sayori and I aren't top students like them, but we matter too! If he thinks that you're going to get somebody in the club pregnant, why should it matter how good at schoolwork said club member is? Is having weaker grades a method of contraception or something?"

"Yes actually. I naturally examine all potential partners academic record to make sure they're not above a B+ average, because otherwise there's a 69% chance they'll get pregnant."

"Dang, you right. My bad. You're just too good at remembering things that are totally factually accurate."

"See, this is why I've got to be careful. With all these scientific _facts, _I've got to be careful to still get bad grades in spite of my genius. I need that contraception; otherwise, I might get pregnant."

"Maki, I assure you, you needn't worry about getting good grades."

"Thank goodness."

* * *

We finally walk into the classroom. Between being told off and being slow on our way over, we're a little late; but thankfully, the teacher here (Mrs Harmon) doesn't tell me off, because she and I get along really well. Even before the literature club, Classics was a subject I did relatively well in, as my knowledge on ancient Western civilization is surprisingly broad, and I'm very good at picking apart their concepts, so she's one of the few teachers who has only ever seen me as a good student. And she's basically just a grandmother type; friendly, excited for your successes, and caring. Sadly, in old age her intelligence has faltered; she's clearly still smart, but very easily loses her train of thought. That must be frustrating. In any case, she's a pretty good teacher, and more importantly, a good person.

Also, she hosted a gigantic LAN tournament of Sid Meier's Civilization VI for all the classics and history classes last year, which is a fantastic way to ensure I respect your subject a lot. Any class that allowed Pericles to become a religious fanatic and fascist, throwing nukes at a communist Teddy Roosevelt… That is a great class in my books. So this year, when I ended up in the class taught by the absolute mad lad who decided to do that, I tried a lot harder than in my other classes.

Natsuki rushes to the far-right desk group, and I reluctantly follow her.

"Hey Monika, thanks for saving us some seats."

"No worries, Natsuki. And nice to see you again Maki! Been a wee while, was almost worried you were avoiding me or something!"

"Sometimes friends just don't happen to bump into each other for a few days, no need to worry about it."

"You dove into a bush when I was walking towards you on Saturday."

"And thank goodness I did! Based on the impact crater, some loon had been jumping into bushes there! A full investigation was in order!"

* * *

The teacher cleared their throat.

"Only two things are certain in life; death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin. I'm sure many of you will have heard this saying before, and it's an interesting, if perhaps overly cynical view, of how life is to pan out. On the individual level, yes, that is all that can be ascertained; but the ability to surpass the individual level is our greatest strength as a species. Society isn't on the individual level. Within a culture, there'll be a few dozen figureheads with great influence, yes, but more importantly, in our individual pursuit of betterment, we contribute to the wider society. Our individual actions and legacies will almost certainly be forgotten, but the wider culture we helped to create lives on in the hearts and minds of future generations. Roman culture will live on, via art, tourism, and great compositions, as well as in our history books. A culture is unbreakable; while the individual may fall, our actions live on. Any culture, including our culture, cannot be taken out of the record, their history not to be deleted…"

Monika smirked at this part. "Wanna bet?" she whispered to me.

"It is for this reason that it is essential to ensure that the diligent and intelligent within future generations are taught about the very human composition of society over the years; as it is in this that we are given purpose. Now, to link this back into your question… Wait, Mark, what was your question again?"

Mark, who looked very confused and slightly threatened, quiveringly remarked;

"I… I just asked if I could go to the bathroom..."

As most of the class laughed, the teachers face went red, and she quietly returned to her seat.

I look over at Natsuki and see she's deep in thought. While the rest of the class continued to chuckle, she stood up, pulling out her lunchbox.

"Natsuki, what are you-"

Ignoring me, she walks up to the teachers desk.

Sniffling slightly, the teacher gave a rather forced smile and turned to face her.

"Oh, Natsuki, give me a moment to collect my wits, and I'll be with you momentarily. You still want me to recheck your work on the Odyssey project you were working on, right?"

"No. Well, yes, but this isn't about that. I just… I know what it feels like to talk about something you feel passionate about, but just end up with everyone laughing at your expense in response. So… I want you to have this."

She pulled out one of her signature cat themed cupcakes, and handed it to her, then promptly turned away to return to her desk before the teacher could respond.

She sat back down next to me.

"Natsuki, that was-"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Ah… right. About three weeks ago, Natsuki started having some self esteem issues because she felt like her defensive nature made her uncompassionate and unlikable; so she had started trying to show more generosity. There had been a lot of issues like that lately; the cutesy anime roles the club members had gotten from Salvato were to the detriment of their happiness in the long term. For a week of game time, Natsuki being intensely passive aggressive, Yuri being painfully shy, or Sayori being ditzy and simple… that wasn't an issue. But after a month of it, it started bugging them, and they've each tried to find ways to improve themselves.

Still, while they may have developed as people, Natsuki's dad sure hadn't… and it worries me to see her giving up some of her already pretty paltry food supply.

Natsuki's proud to a fault, so she probably won't accept any food I offer her… maybe I should just offer to take the literature club out to eat something today, my treat? Yeah, that could work.

In any case, Natsuki seems too sullen to talk to right now, so in spite of my better judgement, I turn to Monika, who flashes me a cautious grin.

"Hey Maki..."

"Hello, Monika." I respond curtly.

"No need to be so formal, Maki! We're friends! I… I think. I'm not going to bite!"

"Firstly, I'm not taking any chances on the biting thing. I can very easily picture you biting me."

"Kinky."

."... No, badness. Also, having taken your recommendation on formality, I will henceforth greet you with the phrase "Yo wassup Mo"."

"... Look, we need to talk at some stage privately. This is the first time you've spoken to me voluntarily in weeks, and while I get that you're still mad, it kills me inside to see you treat me as at best a mild irritant."

"Considering you killed three people on the outside, my killing you on the inside seems like reasonable compensation."

"Hey hey now, ix-nay on the illing-kay talk, alright? Natsuki's right there, and we're in public."

"I apologise for my lack of consideration to the real-world equivalent of Cthulhu. In future, I will only insult universe destroyers in private."

"Come on Maki, please, I just want you to give me a chance here. Couldn't you give me that? We used to be friends, Maki, and I want that back."

"A long time ago we used to be friends, but I haven't thought of you lately at all."

"I'm… unsure if that's a Veronica Mars reference, or if you just genuinely dislike me."

"Yes."

"That doesn't… Wait, is that Sayori?"

* * *

I turned to look at the window on the door, and indeed, she does seem to be there for some reason. She's gesturing for me to come over.

This is an easy subject, and I'm hardly enthusiastic about continuing to chat with Monika, so I shrug and head for the door. I gesture a T towards Mrs Harmon to tell her I was going to the bathroom, and then went to check what Sayori wanted.

"Hey Sayo, what's the matter?"

"Follow me!"

She runs off down the hallways.

For a girl who almost never exercises and seems to live off a diet only slightly more healthy than eating rusty nails, she is weirdly fit. I'm panting by the time we get to her destination; the girls bathroom.

"Uh, Sayori… When I gestured that I needed the bathroom to the teacher, I wasn't actually planning on going to the bathroom. And certainly not the girls one."

"No, not that silly! Come on in!"

"Sorry, what?"

"Just do it! I need to show you something!"

"... Alright then."

It feels really weird to enter the girls bathroom. It seems… significantly cleaner than the boys equivalent, but otherwise surprisingly similar. Strangely, they still have urinals in here… our school administrators are very incompetent.

Well, the place is cleanly, with one very major exception.

"Look Maki, it's a squirrel!"

"Can't squirrels carry diseases like rabies?"

"No! Well… maybe. But Mr Cuddlesworth would never do such a thing!"

"Is that seriously; you know what, no, I'm not going to address the name. How am I involved in any of this?"

"Well, ever since I brought a stray tiger home in Junior year, my parents have banned me from taking home strays of any kind. So I was wondering if you could look after this sweet lil' chap for me?"

A glance at her reminds me that no torture technique was quite as proficient at extracting information as puppy dog eyes.

"... Do you have a cage for it?"

"I was kinda picturing it just being perched on your shoulder, like Abu in Aladdin."

"So your plan was dependent on the idea that in a modern school with health and safetty regulations to follow, this random wild squirrel is effectively the same as an intelligent fictional monkey was in the fictitious replication of the Middle East several centuries in the past."

"Okay look, I hadn't really thought that far ahead, will you help me or not?"

"Find some way to contain it, and sure."

Sayori enthusiastically leaped in and hugged me, jumping up and down excitedly.

"Thank you thank you thank you! Thank you so much Maki, you're a great friend! Although, now, uh, I did find this squirrel because I came into the bathroom for a reason, so I should probably go before my bladder gives up on me, and you should probably go back to class."

Suddenly, the bell rings.

"Oh, well, good timing then! Thank goodness you brought your bag along! See you in Art!"

* * *

Heading off to interval, I wonder who I should hang out with.

* * *

Sayori will be out in a minute, probably heading off to the courts to play some tennis (Now _that _was a hobby I did not expect her to take up, but she's gotten really into it the last week or so). I suppose I could join her, albeit at the risk of her lodging a tennis through my skull.

Natsuki is probably still working on her Classics project back in class. Seeing as that's my strongest area, I'm sure she'd appreciate a hand working on it. Besides, I'm ~90% sure I left my best pen in there (Although my original best pen got disposed of _very quickly_ after discovering some interesting lines Yuri had made in-game.)

Speaking of Yuri, I bet she'll be in either the school library, or Mr Bradstone's room. I haven't read anything with her after Portrait of Markov, and it might be nice to read something together again (although preferably in a slightly less incredibly weird way).

Then there's _her_. She'll be in the Computer Labs. Normally I wouldn't even consider spending time around her after the atrocities she has committed, but she did sound kinda urgent on the matter… I wonder what she's worried about?

* * *

Mulling it over, there's really one option. Yep, I should definitely meet up with-

* * *

[Authors Note: Which Doki will we be spending some quality time with next chapter? I'm leaving it up to the comments! Let me know which one you'd like to see.]


End file.
